Being beautiful is a full-time job, and lots of work. It can be overwhelming and confusing to keep up with. Every day, gazillions of magazines and websites have new tips and advice, new fashion rules to follow, new products to use and new trends to conform to. So I thought I’d save you all the trouble and break beauty down into nine easy steps, from head to toe.
Hair: Wash and brush your hair. Or don’t. Dye it, dread it, style it, shave it off, do nothing with it. Edward Scissorhands that shit. Whatever you want to do. It’s your hair. Use it to espress yourself.
Eyebrows: Just leave these things the fuck alone. Quit waxing them off just to paint them back on again every morning. Unless your unibrow impairs your vision, leave that shit alone. Thread or pluck your brows a little, if they’re totally atrocious, if you want, or rock the caterpillar look. Do whatever makes you comfortable.
Eyes: If you enjoy dressing them up and wearing makeup, by all means, go right ahead. I know I do. Makeup is just another way of expressing yourself. But try to go au natural from time to time. Remind yourself you’re beautiful without all that. Teach yourself to wear makeup because you want to, not because you feel like you need to.
Face: Be careful not to cake your face with too much cover-up or foundation. Presumably you wear these things to hide your scars and blemishes. Unfortunately, and somewhat ironically, the makeup you use to make your skin appear more healthy is the same component causing irritation. If you let your skin breathe, you’ll be less prone to blemishes. Take a look at your industrial grade concealer and ask yourself, what are you trying so hard to hide? …And why? Your skin is nothing to be ashamed of.
Lips: Again, there’s nothing wrong with dressing up your lips, rocking the retro red-lipstick look. Pink, orange, purple, black, blue whatever. Wear whichever color suits your fancy, but don’t fuss so much about the plumpness of your lips. No, you do not need lip injections. Calm down about Scarlett Johansson; it’s not a competition. Focus more on the words coming out of your lips and the food going into them, and the people kissing them, than what they look like.
Tatas: Your only concern about your breasts should be their health. If they’re cancer-free, they don’t need fixing. Don’t put yourself through risky, expensive and unnecessary surgery simply because you want a lift. So many women agonize about their breasts. They think their nipples are too big, their chest too flat, their breasts too saggy. Take it from me with the lower-case-a-cups, as long as you have two breasts, you’ve got nothing to worry about. And if you only have one, or even none, you’re beautiful too. Breasts are just body parts. They have nothing to do with you.
Tummy: Unless your weight impairs your lifestyle or health, or holds you back from doing things you love, you’re fine. Don’t fuss so much because you have a stomach. I’d be much more worried if you didn’t. Not eating is not the answer. Eating healthy is important. Focus less on what your stomach looks like and more on the quality of food you’re putting in it.
Skin: It’s always good to take care of your skin. Keep it clean. Moisturize it. Protect it from the sun. But whatever you do, don’t give a fuck about the color of your skin, and don’t treat your skin to “fix” the pigment. Get your ass out of the tanning salon. Stop using potentially harmful products to lighten or darken it. Remember that beauty comes in any color, and it doesn’t need correcting.
Feet: Are your feet blistered, cracked and callused? Are they dirty? Do they reek? Good. That’s what they’re for. They’re feet. If your feet are baby soft and you’re not a baby, you’re probably not using them enough / correctly. Take your shoes off and go stamp around in some mud. Your feet are supposed to be disgusting. I’ve spent my whole life working on these calluses, and I couldn’t be prouder. They’ve carried me so many places. It’s like having soles built into the bottom of my feet. Saves me money on shoes. And are they beautiful? You bet. Don’t trip over your so-called imperfections.
Love yourself, and love your body. Take good care of it. Appreciate it and be thankful that you have it, but remember your body is just your body, and it doesn’t define you. Your physical parts are just a vehicle for transporting your soul, and proper maintenance is important, but your exterior is no indication of your actual performance or potential. Your body is yours to do with as you please, a canvas on which to paint your personality. Your clothes, your hair, your makeup and tattoos, or lack thereof — they’re all just pieces of your presentation, places to express yourself.
If you want to be beautiful, be you. Just be yourself. Be-you-tiful.